How to Make A Long Distance Relationship Work for Lesbian Couple.

“Together forever… never apart… Sometimes in distance… But never in heart…”

Being in a lesbian long distance relationship, plus knowing that you are both geographically separated from one another is a big challenge. Even though both of you have already built a strong foundation in your relationship LDR will put both of you in a test.

My girlfriend and I are in an LDR for more than three years now. We try to communicate regularly despite our hectic schedules (well, I’m busy most of the time). We may not talk every single day on FaceTime, but we try to update our whereabouts and activities all the time via messenger. But staying connected is difficult sometimes. The time difference, a busy lifestyle and work are part of the hindrances.

We had our ups and downs, these helped us keep our relationship intact. We are both committed to making it work and ready to face all the challenges that we may encounter whilst we are in LDR.

HOW TO MAKE IT WORK:

 1. Communication is the key- telling your girlfriend everything and being honest is a big part of the relationship especially in LDR. There’s a lot of ways now to communicate with your partner or loved ones who are living anywhere in the world, thanks to the technology. The only issue would be is TIME, I’m guilty about this. But then again, if both of you are very understanding and can compromise this is not going to destroy your relationship.

TIPS: Inform your girlfriend what your plans are for the day, week or even month. This will give you both an idea of when and how to plan your FACE-TIME-DAY or how you want to spend time together. In this way, both of you would know what to expect. Remember to be accountable, if you say Monday, 3pm, be sure to be there and stop anything that you are doing and focus on your partner.

If either you or your partner is really busy, don’t be upset, you both have different lives and you need to live day by day. During your busy day, try to write something on messenger or Viber just to let her know that you are thinking about her even though you are very busy.

2. Lay cards on the table- Before I hooked up with my girlfriend, I have told her about all my rules. She doesn’t have a choice but to follow it, lol!!! I’m kidding, it’s really up to her, I told her what I expect and want for our relationship, then she should respect me. It is very simple, my way or no way…

TIPS: Be honest and sincere about your feelings and intentions. There’s no time to play about.

3. Plan a holiday together- My girlfriend and I try to see and meet half way somewhere on the globe for at least twice or thrice a year. We both love to travel, making memories and to be with her is the best feeling ever after not seeing her for so long. It reconnects us more deeply. We discover more things about each other. We might not agree on some things but we try to solve it in a mature way and we always compromise.

TIPS: Depending on how far you are from each other, you can meet and plan your holiday together as much as you can. If your girlfriend lives 2 hours away from you, meet up once a week. If she lives thousand and thousand miles away (like me and my GF) plan your holiday at least twice a year. Go to places or countries that you haven’t been yet. Discover places, try new delicacies, go on islands or cities that you both wanting to visit. It doesn’t matter where you go or meet, what matter is, you are both there having a good time together.

4. Keep the romance alive- Both of us are consistently messaging each other before going to sleep and first thing when we wake up. It sounds cheesy but for me, it is romantic.

We send each other presents and greeting cards on special occasions. We send each other romantic text messages every day. Telling her how much I miss her and her cuddles, it makes me more excited and to look forward to seeing her again on our next holiday.

TIPS: Romance is the hardest thing to keep alive in an LDR, but try your hardest to work on it. Keep the spark in your relationship by keeping the romance alive. There are so many ways, sending presents, sending sweet text messages, watching the same film while you are FaceTiming, compliment each other, make your partner feel that they are special by saying sweet nothing.

Just even asking her how was her day been, is a nice and romantic way to let her know that you are thinking about her and you are interested to know what she has been up to. It doesn’t matter what your way is, just let her feel how you love her and you can’t wait to see her.

5. Compromise at all time- My girlfriend and I have an opposite personality. She is more friendly and I am more picky about making friends. Saying this, when we go on holiday together and she wants or plans to meet some friends too, she has to compromise with me. Because I want our alone time for the whole of our holiday. So what we do, we will be spending our alone time together for the first couple of days then meet whoever we want to meet. It’s not difficult to compromise as long as you both respect each other’s differences.

TIPS: Try to find some other way to meet in the middle and recognise each of your differences. You can also take turns and I think it is fair for both of you to do or try things together even though you have different interests. Just be supportive to your partner, even if it bores you to death, try it, do it with her, you might like it too in the end.

Mentioning these ways to try to compromise, for me, you should focus on your relationship more than anything, than arguing about small things. Don’t focus on what feels wrong in your relationship or your differences, focus on how to make it right.

6. Plan your future together and be together forever- My GF and I both know that this is only a temporary condition. We already made plans for our future and we really want to live together as a real couple. Eventually, we will be in one place and build our future together.

TIPS: You can apply COMPROMISE here. Plan and decide who is going to follow who. Be aware of some issues that may occur, just remember, you are both doing this for each other, so work as a team at all times. You might have some hiccups but that’s part of the journey.

-I hope you have picked up something relevant, about my tips on how to make LDR work for lesbian couples(or for straight couples too). Up until now, my GF and I are still working so hard to keep this relationship strong and going. LDR is really not easy, the amount of time that we both miss each other is so unbearable. It breaks my heart not to be able to share with her all the small things and great achievements I have. We might have some fights and tears because of our distance and lack of time, but at the end of the day, we are still holding on. And one day, someday soon when we are officially living in one place, the only thing we will be holding is each other’s hands. I can’t wait!!!

Thank you guys for taking the time to read my blog. Until next time.

Love yah,

Rainne xxx